BATAM ... Turi Beach Resort

In Febuary, I went on a company trip to Turi Beach resort with my collegues, about 33 of us.

It was a wonderful resort. The rooms are made of a house on stilt on a hill slope. The balcony overlooked the slope . I was abit worried that the balcony might collapsed due to my Weight....hahaha.

Well since It was a resort there was not much things to amuse us so i mostly take pictures of scenery and greenery plus my collegues.The beds are all 4 posted with drapes...so romantic. We even had a company barberque dinner with candle light... haiz...which I had a someone special by my side at that dinner table.

Anyway there was some problems with the uploading of pictures to the blog so I could not post many pics.But luckily I was managed to able to load this picture. His name is Sastra Widjaya. Isn't he cute. With the help of my friends I was able to get a picture with him. There were other cute and hunky men there but not sure why Sastra just took my breath away...hahahaha.

Fairuz just loved taking pictures with weird poses.... luckily never fall into the pool if not I have to feeling baywatch and rescue him plus CPR....hahahaha.

Oh yeah the three girls are my charlie's angels...they are my friends working as seamstress, always helping me with my sewing needs.

will try to post the other pictures in my next entry.

Thursday........ 4pm.........

I was watching this movie from You Tube called Latter Days. I was kinda surprised by the ending as I was expecting a sad ending..... For the record I hate sad endings for movies... I was kinda hoping it would have a wonderful ending and it was....

For the past few days I don't know why but my heart is very heavy.... as though I am feeling a great loss...... lost for love perhaps?

Smiling from a Distance

Just got back from a short company trip to Batam. It was a whirlwind week from the start of the Chinese New Year till now....... But I will elaborate those things in other entries once I managed to finished downloading them into my computer. During the trip I did manged to clear some of my thoughts about work.

Anyway enough about work ...back to Me Myself and I. I do realised that a smile speaks a thousand words. Even though that the Singaporean culture is not into smiling I should not be drowned into following such silly ethics. Yes I know here in Singapore, If someone smiles at another, there is always an unfair judgement that there is a hidden agenda behind that very smile. I still remember my Father Advise to me that the phrophet says that if One smiles to another , Angels will smile back at us. For every smile you do, you get "Pahala" in your after life.

There was a point in my Life that I believed truly in it and wherever I go I just kept smilling even if I receive smirks from others. And if a single person do smile back at me it makes my day. Maybe I should start to practise on it again. Besides the face uses less muscle to smile than to frown.

And since this is a fashion designer blog, It would only be nice to have a little fashion association to the topic so here is a smiley T- Shirt which I think is kinda plain but cool... There are many other designs out there. I believe the world should be smiling cause when everyone in happier there will be less hatred.

Photoshoot

hey all

As promised I have uploaded some pictures of the processes that happened during a photoshoot. My goodness .... It been years but I can still remember it as though it was yesterday........ My rapid heartbeat as the photographer snaps away pictures of my model who is standing there in the hot sun in my costume.... I miss the fashion Life..... Must immerse myself back into it.

The New Hope....

Since I am a designer ....shouldn't this blog be about my design life and all that happens in it...

Funny thing is that there is not much glamourous event happening in my life since I worked as the designer for No1 Costume Costume Pte ltd. In fact I never felt so bored before. I had not been in touch with the fashion scene. I have not done much research in the fashion line but of course I do update myself with the fashion trends of paris , milan and other fashion capital. But mostly of its haute couture collections.

The above are some of my designs that I did for my final year BA Hons Fashion Design for the women collection . As for the menswear, I had already place it on the side panels of the blogs for view. I love to design womenswear but menswear is more interesting as its definitely more difficult due to design restrictions . My menswear is a mixture of craziness... definitely different from that of the normal menswear.... trying to be bolder... will keep you updated on that...

I will include pictures of the photoshoot to give you a glimpse of what happens behind a photoshoot. And we all thought that the pictures in the magazine we saw daily are easy to do.... boy ws I wrong...

Just to keep you updated I am thinking of opening My own range of streetwear with an edge , slight touch of "Gay Magic" to perk it up a little. All is still in the plaaning stage. I have to do tons of research if I want to make it happen....

Since its a new year I thought maybe I should start afresh too although I was a month too late. I would try to reduce the whinning emotional essays that I tend to write and more on what I had done good and of course update on the things that are fashion related.....

Love ya all ...thanks for reading.....

Forbidden Love

After listening to the song by Madonna, it gets me thinking that perhaps the reason that gays have difficulties in finding love is that our kind of love is a forbidden love . That's why it is so challenging to find love for us....so many obstacles or requirements...etc..etc..
I sometimes think about giving up on Love.... but still the heart yearns so much for it....... to a point the head is not thinking straight anymore. God I hate that feeling....! Why can't I just have a "normal" gay life like other heterosexual life. Finding a nice guy and settle down... have a family.....
Damn there is this tugging in my heart that I can't seem to be able to brush aside..... And work just makes it worse... more depressed...

Anyway enough about all that depression ... I just realised that laughing actually helps me to be happier.... I laugh at about practically all my stupid mistakes.... just now walking from Arab street I was enjoying a breeze when a loose banner smack me right on the face.... I was laughing to myself all the way back to the office.... just wished I could laughed about my stupid obsolete love life....

Lyrics from Madonna Song " Forbidden Love"

Just one kiss on my lips
Was all it took to seal the future
Just one look from your eyes
Was like a certain kind of torture
Once upon a time there was a boy,
and there was a girl
Just one touch from your hands
Was all it took to make me falter
Forbidden love
Are we supposed to be together
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Forbidden love
We seal our destiny forever
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Just one smile on your face
Was all it took to change my fortune
Just one word from your mouth
Was all I needed to be certain
Once upon a time there was a boy,
and there was a girl
Hearts that intertwined
We lived in a different kind of world
Forbidden love
Are we supposed to be together
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Forbidden love
We seal our destiny forever
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Just one kiss
Just one touch
Just one look
Forbidden love
Are we supposed to be together
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Forbidden love
We seal our destiny forever
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Just one kiss
Just one touch
Just one look
Just one love

Bittersweet

I love this poem written by the 13th century Persian poet Rumi.... It was also used by Madonna in her song Bittersweet


In my hallucination
I saw my beloved's flower garden
In my vertigo, in my dizziness
In my drunken haze
Whirling and dancing like a spinning wheel
I saw myself as the source of existence
I was there in the beginning
And I was the spirit of love
Now I am sober
There is only the hangover
And the memory of loveAnd only the sorrow
I yearn for happiness
I ask for helpI want mercy
And my love says:
Look at me and hear me
Because I am hereJust for that
I am your moon and your moonlight too
I am your flower garden and your water too
I have come all this way, eager for youWithout shoes or shawl
I want you to laugh
To kill all your worriesTo love you
To nourish you
Oh sweet bitterness
I will soothe you and heal you
I will bring you roses
I, too, have been covered with thorns