I know.....I know Its been a very long time since my last entry and I have my reasons behind it. Work and family has always been a priority in my Life. And for the past few months I learnt a lot of things about myself and my family.
I learnt from working for the National Day Project that I have a short temper that I have been suppressing for a very long time. And during that time working on the national day costumes, It all rose up to the surface and I blew up in anger and frustration like I hd never experienced before. I said and did many things that I was not proud of and the feeling of regret still lingers in my heart.
I know I neglected some of my closest friends whom I considered as family but I am thankful that they were understanding of my "disappearance" for the past months.
I try my best now to catch up with them as much as I could but sometimes work causes me to miss or reshcedule my appointments with them. In the Gay Life, our lifestyle are not like those of the hetrosexuals. There are things that we cannot share with our Straight friends or family. And in my case its worse. There is so many secrets I have to keep even from my Family. Things that I cannot confide to them. So the only place I turn for comfort are my Gay friends whom understands my dilemma and my pain.
In Life we must always give and take and tend to close one eye on certain matters of work or as they love to put it in my company," Jangan Mengira". Well to this all I can say is Yes but to what extend do I draw the line to this "give an take" issue. I am already tired of all the shortcomings of No1 Costume Costume Pte Ltd. There is so much one can take. And to the change of my work timing is where I draw the line. Its time I give these people a wake up call. Now I understand all the things that Maggie felt, the pain and anguish to the point that she just want to leave all of this behind her and move on. Sometimes I feel trapped and being misused over and over again.
Well if this Issue is not settled soon I will say my Goodbyes to them and move on with my Life also. I know my strengths . I know what I can achieve and do out there. I mean if someone loves you and cherish you they would know what to do to ensure that the person is happy and are not to be left out in the dark of what is happening to his jobscope and his future in the company. I know that I am being unfair by not informing the other party on the matter but how do I tell him or her when they are never around to listen?
So the only way is to go everything by the book and the laws set by the government. For the time being all I can do is wait and see.....................
