Muhammad Razy Ibrahim: March 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Truth.. Love and Hope

Some times the truth hurts the most and yet it is the reality check that I need. I used to deny that Love will ever be part of my Life and that all I need is just the Love of Family...... now as each day passes, I realised that Life without Love outside of the boundaries of family Love, is not complete. As a gay guy I always known that there are things that I cannot share with my Family and these are the things that if left unsettled of left unfilled with other form of Love will erode away our inner being.......

Yesterday I was watching this documentary about some medical health stuff... mainly psychology. It shows about symthoms of depressions..... funny thing is that I am or had experienced all of it on a daily basis however not severe.Makes me think if I am mentally healthy? Maybe its stress or denial but I know something is wrong and I got to find the root of the problem soon cause its draining me alive............

But behind all this mind boggling emotions there is always one thing that I still believe in and that is HOPE ....... hope for a better day... hope for Love and peace of mind.......... hope for a better future........... wherever this Life takes me to.........

I keep Bleeding

Closed off from love. I didn't need the pain. Once or twice was enough .And it was all in vain. Time starts to pass. Before you know it you're frozen .But something happened .For the very first time with you .My heart melts into the ground .Found something true .And everyone's looking round .Thinking I'm going crazy .But I don't care what they say. I'm in love with you. They try to pull me away .But they don't know the truth .My heart's crippled by the vein .That I keep on closing .You cut me open and .........

I Keep bleeding, Keep, keep bleeding love, I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding love Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love. You cut me open......... Trying hard not to hear .

But they talk so loud. Their piercing sounds fill my ears. Try to fill me with doubt .Yet I know that the goal Is to keep me from falling. But nothing's greater, Than the rush that comes with your embrace.

And in this world of loneliness, I see your face. Yet everyone around me, Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe............. But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you .They try to pull me away .But they don't know the truth. My heart's crippled by the vein. That I keep on closing .You cut me open and I Keep bleeding.

Keep, keep bleeding love .I keep bleeding . I keep, keep bleeding love. Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love. You cut me open. And it's draining all of me .Oh they find it hard to believe, I'll be wearing these scars. For everyone to see, I don't care what they say.

I'm in love with you .They try to pull me away .But they don't know the truth. My heart's crippled by the vein. That I keep on closing .You cut me open and I Keep bleeding.

Keep, keep bleeding love. I keep bleeding .I keep, keep bleeding love. Keep bleeding . Keep, keep bleeding love. You cut me open and I Keep bleeding .Keep, keep bleeding love .I keep bleeding. I keep, keep bleeding love .Keep bleeding. Keep, keep bleeding love .You cut me open and I Keep bleeding .Keep, keep bleeding love.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Driving by the Road of Life

Saw this picture yesterday, thought it was kinda cool . A modern version of the traditional Kimono. I think it was by Chrisian Dior or something.

Met a new friend but it seems that he is merely a wind that passes by my Life. Did not expect it to be anything though.... Haiz... Just bought myself a new MP4 Portable Multimedia Player with games and camera. Have yet to fully utilised it yet. Been buying myself lots of things lately. Shirts, dvds, new weight loss stuff, ...etc...etc more mindless things to keep me going in this boredom.

Oh yeah me will be going to London at the end of the month but I don't think I will follow them to Paris though as the company said that we have to pay for our own expenses and transportation to Paris for the weekend (London Trip fully Paid by them...thats what they claimed lah) . That sucks.. ask me to go Europe and when we reach there I have to pay for the Paris trip. I must I be crazy or something ... They don't even give me travel allowances. So my family and I reach a decision that I will not follow them. Why the family involve ? Cause they won't support me financially if i go to Paris... So looks like its confirmed... A definite NO to Paris.... unless a sugar daddy wants to sponsor me to Paris.....hahahaha as if thats ever gonna happen.