Forbidden Love

After listening to the song by Madonna, it gets me thinking that perhaps the reason that gays have difficulties in finding love is that our kind of love is a forbidden love . That's why it is so challenging to find love for us....so many obstacles or requirements...etc..etc..
I sometimes think about giving up on Love.... but still the heart yearns so much for it....... to a point the head is not thinking straight anymore. God I hate that feeling....! Why can't I just have a "normal" gay life like other heterosexual life. Finding a nice guy and settle down... have a family.....
Damn there is this tugging in my heart that I can't seem to be able to brush aside..... And work just makes it worse... more depressed...

Anyway enough about all that depression ... I just realised that laughing actually helps me to be happier.... I laugh at about practically all my stupid mistakes.... just now walking from Arab street I was enjoying a breeze when a loose banner smack me right on the face.... I was laughing to myself all the way back to the office.... just wished I could laughed about my stupid obsolete love life....

Lyrics from Madonna Song " Forbidden Love"

Just one kiss on my lips
Was all it took to seal the future
Just one look from your eyes
Was like a certain kind of torture
Once upon a time there was a boy,
and there was a girl
Just one touch from your hands
Was all it took to make me falter
Forbidden love
Are we supposed to be together
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Forbidden love
We seal our destiny forever
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Just one smile on your face
Was all it took to change my fortune
Just one word from your mouth
Was all I needed to be certain
Once upon a time there was a boy,
and there was a girl
Hearts that intertwined
We lived in a different kind of world
Forbidden love
Are we supposed to be together
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Forbidden love
We seal our destiny forever
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Just one kiss
Just one touch
Just one look
Forbidden love
Are we supposed to be together
Forbidden love, forbidden love
Forbidden love
We seal our destiny forever
Forbidden love,
forbidden love
Just one kiss
Just one touch
Just one look
Just one love

Bittersweet

I love this poem written by the 13th century Persian poet Rumi.... It was also used by Madonna in her song Bittersweet


In my hallucination
I saw my beloved's flower garden
In my vertigo, in my dizziness
In my drunken haze
Whirling and dancing like a spinning wheel
I saw myself as the source of existence
I was there in the beginning
And I was the spirit of love
Now I am sober
There is only the hangover
And the memory of loveAnd only the sorrow
I yearn for happiness
I ask for helpI want mercy
And my love says:
Look at me and hear me
Because I am hereJust for that
I am your moon and your moonlight too
I am your flower garden and your water too
I have come all this way, eager for youWithout shoes or shawl
I want you to laugh
To kill all your worriesTo love you
To nourish you
Oh sweet bitterness
I will soothe you and heal you
I will bring you roses
I, too, have been covered with thorns

Happy new Year

Its the start of a new year........ and I wanted to wish all a happy new year.........

There a re things in my heart that I wanted to say or yearned but I can't seem to be able to voice it out..... Tere have been things that I done in the year 2007 that I wished I had not done or am not proud of. But Life is a learning process so maybe in the year 2008, I would not make the same stupid mistakes.........

But funny thing is ...its a new year where one celebrates new things but I feel old and weary... exhausted half the time........

I know that every girl dreams of a fantasy where she falls in love with her dream guy and she sweeps her off her feet.........damn......... I am still waiting for that fantasy to come true for me.... hahahaha...fat chance thats ever gonna happen.


Anyway heres to a start of a fruitful year for all of us .... I hope.... May god protect us all..........