I Feel Lost...............

All Hallows Eve.............

Yesterday was All Hallows Eve.........the day of celebrating the ancient rites of old Magic..... After reading much on it... it makes ponder if I should have written down all the ancient knowledge that had been passed down by my ancestors. I know that to the mind of the modern man...it is all just superstitious. But for someone as myself whom had seen more than a fair share of the unknown , I became a firm believer that God besides creating this Earth HE also created other realms and beings besides Human beings...... Just as in the Koran.

But that is all beside the point of this entry. I am Lost. I feel as though my body is here in reality but my mind is somewhere else. My mind is lost in a sea of thoughts. The truth is although I went through many courses for self reflecting, I know my target in Life and I also my strength and weaknesses.

But i find that all this while, I live my Life to serve others be it my work or my daily Life.. I know that the personal traits of a Virgoan is to serve others....... But then I suddenly realised that I am Tired....... I exhausted my Life trying to do Good and helping other people besides myself. No wonder there is this constant yearning for me to find "Inner Peace ", to help myself from losing my mind. I mean I had yet to have some " ME Time", to recharge my inner body and soul.

Maybe It high Time I recharge my mind coz as a designer , if the Mind is weary, all creativity is lost. And I know that I have to constantly be on my toes especially in my Field of work... can't afford to be mindful.............

Now all I have to do is find out how can I find the time to do some soul searching .........

No1 Costume Costume Pte LTD III

The Saga Continues..........

Well I have officially went through a full year cycle here at No1 Costume Costume as it's Costume Designer. I have already went through the love and the pain being with them all this while. I am more confused, more than ever. I wished the best for the company.... but lately I am disappointed. I wished that promises were not just empty promises..... Maybe its just bad timing for me to bring up these issues. There is so much that I wanted to do but I could not. So many designs that I came up with that still sleeps in my files, untouched. So many dreams that I wanted to make into a reality but I could not as I did not have sufficient resources or authority to do so........... I know the management is busy so I decided to close an eye and wait patiently.

There so many collections of designs that I wanted to do up....especially the Star Wars Collection. From this Halloween season, after answering so many phonecalls, I received at least 10 minimum , of phonecalls asking about our Star wars Collection. I was a bit disappointed to reply to them that we only have a few characters and the rest are Jedi Robes. There is so much research that I did on Star Wars Characters be it in the movies , books or comics. It would be so interesting to come up with all the various characters like the Sith warriors. Their costumes are so intricate and interesting. Even the Jedis Have their own individuality in their costume. But my biggest dream is to create the Royal Wardrobe for Amidala. Since I can't do an exact replica, I would do a "similar looking" costume so that they cannot sue us over copyright issues.

The Collection I did for HSBC dinner and dance 2007 was quite an achievement but I am still not happy with it as the detailing was not intricate enough. After that "Secret Meeting"I am more determine than ever to show that as a Designer I can do theatrical costume of that are equivalent to those of the Phantom of the Opera. I have done such intricate costumes before for when I was freelancing, I know I can do it again........... I know I have the capability .. Its just that sometime Time is an issue and since not every client can afford to pay for such intricate costumes I forsee it will be a while before I can do it again..........

Aidilfitri .... a Cause for Celebration....?

First of all I would like to wish all my friends and family a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri , may the year ahead be full of merry and forgiveness....

I don't know why but this year seems unlike those years before. The celebration was not as festive. I could not feel the excitement of it even on the day itself. But of course I am thankful for everyone that celebrated it with me... especially when I went to visit my friends all over the island.

I have not visit much of my family members. There's not many left around. Most have already return to the calling of God. This year, my mom became the eldest daughter for the family as all the other elder sisters had passed away. I know that Mom is sad and not in the celebrating mood as she realised that most of them are gone.She has 2 elder brother and 4 younger siblings left. I totally understand her feelings of lost as I felt it too. I sometimes feel that despite being surrounded by friends and family I felt totally alone. Guarding the secrets of my life and my heart from my family. My relatives kept asking me when I would get married and settle down, hahahaha I just kept on making excuses of financial issues.

But sometimes I do wished I could get married and settle down and have children of my own.....

By the way .... my cousin's daughter just got married and has a child at the age of 17. I am officially a grandfather!!!

there is so much I wanted to say or let out but I can't. Wished I could run from all of this sometimes.

Yesterday I went to visit my colleagues open house. Her mother was "gifted " as in she could see certain things like characters and stuff of someone. She told my parents that my brother is "soft" and a loving person like water and air while I am a "hard" person , like the rocks of the earth and hot headed sometimes like Fire. I was a bit surprised , not shock though. She read my character correctly. My brother and me are like Yin and Yang, opposites that comes together perfectly in balance.

Anyway enough about that... I don't know why but I kept thinking back to memories of the past of those whom had moved on to the other side. Perhaps its the magic of Aidilfitri that keep me tied to them somehow. I did a lot of bad things this year and I somehow regret most of them. But the history is what makes our future.

To all my sisters...

I would like to ask for forgiveness from you all,

from the tip of my head to my toes

I am sorry if I had ever offended any of you.

I loved you all like my own family members,

Should my words had been hurtful I truly regret it.

Words cannot describe how I felt for you all

I love you all my dears...........

May you forgive me for all my wrongdoings.....

Hugs

Razy

No1 Costume Costume Pt II

Life as a designer seems beautiful to people.... but hey as they said... experience is the cure to dreams. I should know better... since I started working here my High blood Pressure shot off the roof!!! hahahahahahaha......... My GP doctor was so shocked caused its has been a while since my last visit to see him. I myself was shocked! But I already knew that physically my health is deteriating. Not in the best of health now.......I need a long break! Can't wait for Raya since I would be driving with my family to Melaka and KL for a short tip of 4 days. Better than nothing.

Maybe either in december or january I might planned to got to Bintan again to rest my mind. So far I am less depressed lately. I been trying to make new frens..... etc ..etc........

I been hoping that things would get better working at No1 Costume, but I can't say it is. I mean there are many things I think I deserve that I did not get.....and as the days go by the dissappointments piled up and I am no longer sure what to do with my presence here. Not sure if staying is the best option right now....... I know that the company is small but it is growing reapidly.... just not sure if it is capable to expand further with all the mishaps the high fluctuation of manpower turnover and the constance reshuffling of manpower makes its very disorganized. Perhaps I am being too perfectionist that I can see too many flaws . Its not that the company is not good...it is good. It just need fine tuning to ensure the organization is well structured and not as it is now. If we had hired proper people and the company pays them well accordingly. We would not have a high manpower turnover.

Maybe what they need a very good consultant for organization structure....... to advise them on how an international company should run to achieve a higher level of profitability and a wonderful working environment.

Right now the tension in the company is so thick that one would feel stuffy to be in it. People are not communication well despite the wonderful courses the company is indulging in. Not sure how I can help to ease all this problems since I have a whole load of unsettled issues with them....

I may not be well verse in manpower laws in singapore ...that is why I hire a lawyer to represent my family... to advise us on matters that are beyond our understanding and knowledge.

There are things that I want to say but I can't if I want to keep my Job..... so this site here is my sanctuary ...where I can spill my guts out........... :)

Although I am not sure anymore that staying longer would be a wise choice though ....... despite all the plans or promised thart they claimed to have for me......... hope they are not mere empty promises.......

Happy Birthday To me..........

In a few minutes, the day of my birth would be over. It started out sad but ended as how I hoped it to be. I am surrounded by the people whom are the most important to me . My parents, my brother and my aunt who is like my second mom. I got some presents from her. Nothing big or expansive but its the thought that counts caused she called me up just to wished me a happy birthday while I was in the office. Joe sent me a birthday wish via email which I read in the morning. My brother called me just now in the evening after he got back home from the office in KL. I know my friends all are busy with their work...its ok. I forgot their birthday too...Karma right? Well Hope that my wishes comes true............. but of course I have to work hard for it...........

Hugs and Kisses for All of You..............

Reality Check.......

I suddenly realised how fast time flew and it seems like just yesterday I started my job at No1 Costume Costume . Now as I sat in front of my Computer at home and see the hours flew by I realised that TIMe itself is counting down to my next anniversary of birth. Nice way of putting it, isn't it? I am suddenly in a daze, realising that I will be 26 tomorrow!

I have spent a wonderful time yesterday. Never had I experienced loving someone so powerfully. Whom I meant is not a guy.......its a child...... my niece.She is the light of my life in its darkest hour.Before, I thought that I would not love her like my own child. I was wrong. As she grew older she became more interactive with me and suddenly all my pain and depressed moments was brushed aside by her smile and laughter, even if its just for that one moment.......... I was Happy!! I was running around and playing ball with her , all this while I was smiling and laughing genuinely , not a smile of Front that I placed around myself as I had done always.

Maybe her presence is a gift from God to lift me from my sorrow and pain that I was in for the past few weeks. Feelings that was so dark that I cannot share with anyone but myself and my personal written journal.........

I had not been happy for a long while and I do not foreseen beautiful days ahead. But perhaps the cure to my heart is not the loving touch of a guy( of course that would be nice) but is the loving touch of a child holding your hand knowing that that kind of is pure and genuine.

Hope that one day maybe I can adopt a child of my own or perhaps through surrogacy.

There is so much in my heart that I wanted to say or confide to someone but I can't. Pains that had been rooted in my heart for a very long time. There is no one out there who can help me. The only person who can help me is Myself!! I must find my own inner peace and forgive myself. That is the path I must take right now. Sounds dramatic doesn't it? hahahaha.

I am a little happier today........May the days ahead be greater and may my heart soars ..........

Seems Like A Lifetime ...........

I know.....I know Its been a very long time since my last entry and I have my reasons behind it. Work and family has always been a priority in my Life. And for the past few months I learnt a lot of things about myself and my family.

I learnt from working for the National Day Project that I have a short temper that I have been suppressing for a very long time. And during that time working on the national day costumes, It all rose up to the surface and I blew up in anger and frustration like I hd never experienced before. I said and did many things that I was not proud of and the feeling of regret still lingers in my heart.

I know I neglected some of my closest friends whom I considered as family but I am thankful that they were understanding of my "disappearance" for the past months.

I try my best now to catch up with them as much as I could but sometimes work causes me to miss or reshcedule my appointments with them. In the Gay Life, our lifestyle are not like those of the hetrosexuals. There are things that we cannot share with our Straight friends or family. And in my case its worse. There is so many secrets I have to keep even from my Family. Things that I cannot confide to them. So the only place I turn for comfort are my Gay friends whom understands my dilemma and my pain.

In Life we must always give and take and tend to close one eye on certain matters of work or as they love to put it in my company," Jangan Mengira". Well to this all I can say is Yes but to what extend do I draw the line to this "give an take" issue. I am already tired of all the shortcomings of No1 Costume Costume Pte Ltd. There is so much one can take. And to the change of my work timing is where I draw the line. Its time I give these people a wake up call. Now I understand all the things that Maggie felt, the pain and anguish to the point that she just want to leave all of this behind her and move on. Sometimes I feel trapped and being misused over and over again.

Well if this Issue is not settled soon I will say my Goodbyes to them and move on with my Life also. I know my strengths . I know what I can achieve and do out there. I mean if someone loves you and cherish you they would know what to do to ensure that the person is happy and are not to be left out in the dark of what is happening to his jobscope and his future in the company. I know that I am being unfair by not informing the other party on the matter but how do I tell him or her when they are never around to listen?

So the only way is to go everything by the book and the laws set by the government. For the time being all I can do is wait and see.....................

Boredom is a killer sometimes

Been siting in my office for quite a while now.... after doing research since 9.30am in the morning, my eyes hurts and I get restless easily..... I have tons of research and design to do and complete by next week but I just do not have to mood to even do it right now. Tired of sitting around staring into the computer screen and cracking my brain as to how to come up with a new concept of design for Halloween. Tired of the mundane designs that is out there in the market and as the company only fashion costume designer that burden of revamping the company design standard to the next level fall heavily on my shoulders , a responsibility that I had accepted upon signing that contract with No1. Costume Coatume Pte Ltd.

The problem is not that I am tired of designing, its not that, I loved to design new things , Its just that when one put so much effort into it the head hurts . hahahahaahahaha.

I been reading and doing tons of research on all the various competitors in this type of line. I trying to ensure that as a designer , when people comes over and see the costume or items in the shop, they go, wow ! thats very nice. This is the reaction I want to target. But to achieve this, I must ensure that the costume company has all the items it needs to evolve into an international company. Haiz.........

Well no one said that being a designer is all glamorous..... its far from it. The thought of fame and glamour is always in ones mind but I know that in my line of work , as in costume, its hard to achieve recognition. Unless one is in the fashion Line then perhaps one has a shot at fame and glory....hahahaha

anyway will update you all on what I will be doing soon.........cya...........

Origin of the Gay Flag

Ever wonder what the Rainbow of the Gay Flag means? Heres a quote I took from http://www.gayprideneworleans.com/

All of the various celebrations throughout the world are unique; however, there is one common element: the gay pride or rainbow flag. This symbol was the creation of Gilbert Baker in response to local activists saying that the community needed a symbol of unity, and was unveiled during the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Festival in 1978. Its design was actually inspired by the earlier black civil rights and "hippie" movements. And today, even the International Association of Flag Manufacturers has acknowledged the flag. The rainbow flag has become the most visible icon of the GLBT community, and is a symbol that is recognized worldwide. The community has united with pride, determination and diversity under its colors.

Each color of the flag was designed to have a different meaning:
RED - Life
ORANGE - Healing
YELLOW - Sun
GREEN - Nature
BLUE - Harmony
VIOLET - Spirit

something I got from FRIDAE.COM

On Internet Profiles:
When A Gay Man Says: I’m very discreet.
What He Means: I’m already attached.
When a gay man says: 'I’m open to experimentation,'
he really means: 'Don’t worry, there’s nothing I’ve never tried.'
When A Gay Man Says: I’m not in the scene.
What He Means: My reputation is so bad that I make the Whore Of Babylon appear like a nun.
When A Gay Man Says: I’m looking for someone who’s financially stable.
What He Means: Calling all Sugar Daddies!
When A Gay Man Says: I’m looking for chemistry not looks.
What He Means: I look exactly like William “She Bangs” Hung.

On Dating:
When A Gay Man Says: I’m looking for commitment.
What He Means: I’m sick of playing one-hand poker in the bathroom all the time.
When A Gay Man Says; I used to date girls.
What He Means: I’m a lesbian-in-rehab.
When A Gay Man Says: Oh puh-leeze! He’s so not my type.
What He Means: Dammit! Why won’t he sleep with me?
When A Gay Man Says: Do you want to go to a movie?
What He Means: Let’s go fondle each other in the dark.
When A Gay Man Says: Oh, no! I insist on paying for my share!
What He Means: This is just a test. There’s no way I’m going dutch you cheapskate.
When A Gay Man Says: I’ll give you a ring.
What He Means: I’d rather endure a blazing cattle prod up my arse than go out with you again.

On Relationships:
When A Gay Man Says: You’re the only man I’ve ever truly loved.
What He Means: You are the only guy left in the homo-verse who hasn’t rejected me yet.
When A Gay Man Says: It’s not you, it’s me.
What He Means: I’ve been sleeping around and I’ve finally found someone better than you.
When A Gay Man Says: Do you love me?
What He Means: I’ve had a fling and I’m worried you’ll find out soon.
When A Gay Man Says: Do you really love me?
What He Means: I’ve had a fling and it’s with your best friend.

On Breaking Up:
When A Gay Man Says: I like you, but…
What He Means: I don’t like you.
When A Gay Man Says: We need to take things one-step at a time.
What He Means: Sorry, but I’m holding out until I’m sure that Fabio look-a-like at the gym is straight.
When A Gay Man Says: Can’t we just be friends?
What He Means: There is no way in hell I’m ever going to sleep with you again.

On Sex:
When a gay man says: 'I’m open to experimentation,'
he really means: 'Don’t worry, there’s nothing I’ve never tried.
'When A Gay Man Says: Can I buy you a drink?
What He Means: I wanna sleep with you.
When A Gay Man Says: Do you come here often?
What He Means: I wanna sleep with you.
When A Gay Man Says: Didn’t we meet at (insert fictitious name)’s party last week?
What He Means: I wanna sleep with you.
When A Gay Man Says: Let’s not waste time.
What He Means: The last time I had sex, the Spice Girls were still hot.
When A Gay Man Says: I’m open to experimentation.
What He Means: Don’t worry, there’s nothing I’ve never tried.
When A Gay Man Says: I’m versatile.
What He Means: I’m a Legs-Up Lucy with delusions of being a top.
When A Gay Man Says: I don’t think two guys should jump into bed on their first date.
What He Means: I have a small penis.
When A Gay Men Says: I’m a grower, not a shower.
What He Means: I have a small penis.
When A Gay Man Says: I wish you would stop comparing me all your previous boyfriends…
What He Means: Are my bedroom skills really that pathetic?
When A Gay Man Says: Oh… (with a falling intonation)
What He Means: I’ve seen baby cocktail sausages bigger than this!
When A Gay Man Says: Oh!… (with a rising intonation)
What He Means: Slap me with that salami!

My visit to Powerhouse on 080407

Me and frens at the end of the nite ...met this guy whom we were dancing with at the club Play
New Friends whom we just met(actually they were friends of IAN)
Me and the boys............
He is so cute in pperson........ reminds me of those exotic dancers

That me and Joel
Frassier , Ian's collegue with Joel
Oh I was totally into this guy...he was one of the boys who serve shot drinks... I bought one and gave it to Kisha but not before I took a picture with him....

Thats me and Ian.....A.K.A .....Keri.........my best fren and one who I have considered my family....

Me and the gang...................................
Outside of Powerhouse at the entrance............. Fabulous.....just like Us........
Me poisng at the entrance of the club when I just came into the club..........

God !! The nite was so wonderful..........I loved it.......never had I danced so much and was so hyper and let loose...be myself and not have top worry abt what others think about me......... The nite started late as usual.... Ian was late and so we only came in at about 11pm.........

We started drinking early.......and get a little high........at first I was left aside while the rest went to the dance floor.......I was so pissed!!!! I just sat down and was just looking at guys passing by our table.......I met my working collegue and his boyfren........Franciss and David.....

Then as we ordered more drinks, we get more drunk and more sluty and physical........ and before I knew it, I could not even walk straight to the toilet..........oh my God! so embarrassed.....thinking about it now makes me blush..... I kissed guys I should not have.... Taken shots I should not have...touched body parts I should not have touched.........hahahahahaI just cannot believe what I did that nite......... but hey if I were to do it again... I would make sure I bring a guy along.......so I can get down to some sexy action on the dance floor..........

The boys who serve the shots drinks were hunky but the malay guy had a slight tummy and a bit of a turn off...

I was a bit sorry for him though..........

I bought a shot from a guy whom I thought was a chinese but he was a malay.......... He is so hot!!!! I could just touch all of him all day and nite long....... his picture is above...standing next to me grinning... He is straight and not available..... ........hai married guys can get divorce...engaged can break off....Girlfren and take a hike... I meant if he had wanted me to help him to " relax" I would have gladly do anything for him....

But hey I was tipsy and all thoughts flew out of the window...... anyway we ended the nite but having lots of fun on the dance floor till our legs gave way......... Had a weird incident though as one of my fren had a weird breakdown in the middle of the dance floor.........she was crying.......almost gave me a heart attack.........

hehehehe.......

I was dancing like a crazy guy..... jumping around and head banging to the music and beat....surrounded by so many goodlooking gay guys.......haiz.....can't wait for my next gay nite out......... :-)

Hope you all had a great week ahead.........

results

just a little quiz I took

..............

http://www.seductiveshorts.com/#goods/quiz

Recollecting memories of Fun

Last Saturday, I went down to meet some frens of mine and we went to a club called "Play" . Its located at the same venue of the previous club Happy. At first I was a bit lazy to go as I dun really enjoyed myself during my previous visits to gay clubs. But somehow, yesterday felt different......or it could be the Bacardi that my friend Ian brought along. We all sat down at Maxwell Market to have some light refreshments to ease up before going into the club. The door bitch was sweet, the bouncer was a bit of a scary uncle while the door boy was this cute innocent looking Malay guy.......awwww which I had taken a picture of him...ahahaha....

We went in at about 11.30pm so the crowd was quite ok and we managed to maneuver ourself to a table and we sat down to have our second round of drinks. Then we head for the dance floor. At first it was quite empty but after we joined in the crowd suddenly grew so big...... and we were practically dancing closely to the crowd. Then as the music got a bit boring we went to go fro more drinks and we chilled at a spot near the restroom.... a very strategic place to look at guys as its between the passage from the entrance and also a a passage heading to the restroom. We saw so many drop dead gorgeous guys and we were pratically ogling at them. Ian met so many of his friends there and we were acquainted with some of them. They are a nice bunch. Then Kisha got more drunk and was practically touching all the cute guys that passed by us. Some were nice and introduced themselves , some were just used to it and ignored us.

But before we left the club, we head to the dance floor for Our final Showdown and boy did we rock it good. I was a bit tipsy and I was dancing like a man not a gay sister. I was trying to portray a guy "look"...... so weird as it caught some guys attention but I just act like I did not notice them..... Most of them I had came across their profile at either Fridae or Guys4Men.com. but hey I was not putting up much hope so I will leave it at that. Met some very nice guys ............and took some pictures but won't upload it here.....maybe on another entry soon.........cya..............

NO1. COSTUME COSTUME PTE LTD

MARIA, FRANCIS AND SUBKI ( MY FREN AND SISTERS FROM WORKPLACE)
THEY JUST LOVED THE ASTRONAUT SUIT I DESIGNED FOR THE COMPANY....HEHEHE
ME AND YAZID......HE'S NEW BUT A NICE PERSON ALL IN ALL BUT VERY CUTE , DUN KNOW WHY HE HAS TAT WEIRD LOOK ON HIS FACE THOUGH....HAHAHAoHOH MY GOSH THAT PICTURE MAKES ME LOOKED LIKE I AM TWICE AS BIG!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH THAT FAIRUZ ...... ONE OF MY FREN FROM WORK TOO... HE'S COOL WITH MY SEXUALITY AND ALL THATS WHY I LUVVVVVVVV HIM.....HAHAHAHA

There three other staff that I did not insert their picture in.... Kak Kamita, Haidil and Salim....

My God its seems like only yesterday that I started work as a Fashion Costume Designer at No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd. It's almost 6 mths now.......whew how time flew.... I love My job and so despite any setbacks or unhappiness that I had encountered, I still think that I have got my dream job...though the pay could be better though...hint hint....... Imagine to be in a job where your boss allows you to create beautiful intricate costumes that you design personally for clients and with few objections... giving me free hand to do what I want ...to expand my creativity and experiences. I know that I am still new at this but as I had told my Boss, as long as I am still with this company, I will try my best to make this company the best costume house in SINGAPORE and hopefully known in ASIA.

I told my Boss that I will redesign all the costume in the company...... giving my best to show the world what I can do ........ Recently I heard some bad comments abt the Star Wars Collection in our company from a forum(Previous collection not made or designed by me).....So I told myself that By HALLOWEEN this year, I will revamp the Star Wars collection in No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd and to state a record of having the biggest and most intricate Star Wars Costume in Singapore. No other costume house will rival my collection. I will create all the various JEdi Costume and of course the various Character costumes such as the Royal Wardrobe, Jedis, Sith, Senate,bounty hunters......etc. I will show them that I had the design capabilities to make them too just as the Costume Designer of The Star Wars series.... And I will create some more costumes for characters from the Star wars novels.

Oh course unfortunately I would not be able to show the exquisite costumes that I had created in my Blog as there are others out there that is trying to rival us and I do not want my creations especially the orignal designs I made myself to be replicated by them. I know it sounds selfish and that copying is a form of flatery but no way hozay..... If you want to see what I had done so far...please feel free to drop by No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd....

No 32 Aliwal ST......oppposite Concourse building.............. : -)

In my futher blogs , I will tell you more on my experiences as a costume designer.........
Love you all.......

My Cousin.....Hey Mr DJ....

I just got back from my cousin's house...... my "favourite" cousin...hehehehe......thats his picture above.Well I loved him a lot...we are like siblings already.....his mom and my mom are sisters and I treated her like my own mom so I am close to her sons....here's a brief intro about him.....

(Taken from his Website, the URL is listed below))

Dj DenoDusk started as a bedroom Dj in the late 90s having influence by a few genres of music like rock, hip hop & pop but later in the year of 2003 he decided to take his Dj talent out from his bedroom and move on to the club scene. He start off by getting himself his first ever gigs at a club for a Dj session and that was the period of time when he was able to show his dedicated talent as a Dj to others. At the year of 2004 he managed to get himself his first residency as a Dj at Lempicka Designer Bar that is when he decided to put his Dj passion as career. Then about a year, he was offered and was given the opportunity to take himself one step further to a whole new level for his debut by getting himself a Dj residency at one of the most prestige beach club in Singapore. From then till now he holds his Dj residency at Km8 Sentosa, (a sister clubs to The Liquid Room) as he will make the crowd moves to the groovy tunes he played.

http://www.myspace.com/djdenodusk

My cousin may be a rebel at times but he is just a sweet romantic guy. But I do not approved to some of the company he associated himself with. Oh yeah , by the way he has a friend called Joop.... I think he is so cute!!! But...well too bad he is straight and has a beautiful girlfriend...

All this makes me realised that I do not have many friends.... but I do have friends whom I had already acknowledge them as family and not just friends... these are people whom I truly cherished and loved with all my heart.Here are links to their blogs .....

http://pinkyetlavender.blogspot.com/

http://iatrogen1c.livejournal.com/

http://butt3rflo.livejournal.com/

For the past month or so, after I became single again, I realised its time that I had enough of putting up with nonsense for the sake of finding someone to love. Its time for me to make myself happy..... Its time I meet more people and make myself known out there for my career and my LIFE. No more finding that true guy for a LTR and all that stuff. I should make myself HAPPY and spent more time with my friends and family. I had not gone clubbing in a while .... time for me to let loose and do what I want to do and not do what I think is the prim and proper social etiquette.

Just ME.......

Me in my room 2006
Me in 1998
Me in 2006
Me in Sentosa
Me ... "Feeling Pose"

Hmmm... come to think of it I do change as I grew older ...........more gorgeous I hope..... hahaha

Stupid Ideas

What does a person mean when he says that he is giving more than 100 per cent ?Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer the question:
If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented by this :
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then, K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E is 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96 per cent
And H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K is 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98 per cent
And A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E is 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 per cent
But B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T is 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103 per cent
And look how far butt kissing will take you...
B-U-T-T-K-I-S-S-I-N-G is 2+21+20+20+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 151 per cent

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hardwork and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there,
It's the bullshit and buttkissing that will put you over the top.

Fond Memories

I have been to several parts of the world in the past few years... London, Manchester, Leeds,Huddersfield,New Zealand and other parts of Asia. But I think Paris is still one of the most romantic places I had ever visited. When I first saw the Eiffel Tower I was awe struck that I just stood there amazed and just stared at it. That moment is forever captured in my heart and m mind. Hope I would be able to visit it again one day .... hopefully with my parents while they are still around.......

Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree

CHARACTER OF A WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy)
- beautiful but full of melancholy,
>>attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves
>>to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is
>>not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds
>>sometimes an anchoring partner.

The Virgo Guy

VIRGO:. The Virgin Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.
GAY VIRGO MAN Time is precious for Virgo man and if you make him wait, he will consider that as an insult. He hates to hear criticism and hates to be criticize. If he is criticizing other people, then he must be influenced by other Zodiac. He is and he likes to be a perfectionist. He always think he is doing the right and appropriate thing , and often he thinks he makes no mistake. He is a bright guy and could accept comments if he thinks it can improve himself. He is the type who well adjusted to make changes. He will spent money carefully and spent it worthwhile. He will only extravagant for his personnel pleasure only. He is quite romantic, a type of guy who can drive 100 miles just to tell you how much he misses you. If he does not care about you, he will not even spent a dime to call you locally. Long distant special low rate call is also out of the question.
He hates rough and crude people. His man has to be clean and dress well. He inspects any thing in details beside being a perfectionist, so you could be lying in your thong with a perfect figure and he can suddenly comments you about your big feet. If you gain 2 pounds , he may comments you are getting too fat. Before going out with this kind of guy, look at yourself head to toe in the mirror and ask yourself if you are really and entirely ready. Unless he dates a model, then he will have less comments. He is neat and tidy, so his life always in a schedule, a fix time to lunch, the same time to go home. He is well knowledge about food and conscious about nutrition, so you won't see this guy eating a junk food, or strange and exotic food for sure. You will see him in social events or party if only necessary. He is gifted with acting, so if he says he can not go out with you because he is sick, then you will belief him. He is a hard to please when it comes to what to eat, how to work, what kind of a woman to date. He always neat and tidy all the times, even if he is in the army, he will be the cleanest soldier in the camp. He likes to speak properly with no slang. He hates laziness and lazy people. He always act like a boring mature adults, but getting to know him, you will know he has his own charm.
He always see things clearly, so he is not the type to be blinded by love. He is a kind and cool guy, but if constantly irritate with rudeness, ignorant, or stupidity then he will show you that he is annoyed. You may see a guy in this Zodiac dress up in an old shirt and old Jean, but if you look carefully, you will see that his hair is neat and unconsciously he will touch his hair a lot. His desk is always neat and if he sees small scrap paper on the floor, he will pick it up or put it in the basket. People may think he is selfish, because when he says "No", he really means it. Any favor asked , he will help but always in his own limit. The more he see faults in others, the less he wants people to see his. If you want him to change his faults, try to tell him gently or he could take it as an insult. He wants love that comes with quality, so he only has a few loves in his life. Woman's trick will not work with him. If he breaks up with a man, he will also try to avoid all the guy's friends and his environments too. He is very picky and every breaking up, he will be double careful next time. He can sweep a man with his charm, but he likes to keep his relationship like a friend. He likes a sincere self confident man, neat and clean, perfect and tidy. A real two "P" , picky and perfectionist Zodiac.

My visit to Powerhouse on 080407

NO1. COSTUME COSTUME PTE LTD

MARIA, FRANCIS AND SUBKI ( MY FREN AND SISTERS FROM WORKPLACE)
THEY JUST LOVED THE ASTRONAUT SUIT I DESIGNED FOR THE COMPANY....HEHEHE
ME AND YAZID......HE'S NEW BUT A NICE PERSON ALL IN ALL BUT VERY CUTE , DUN KNOW WHY HE HAS TAT WEIRD LOOK ON HIS FACE THOUGH....HAHAHAoHOH MY GOSH THAT PICTURE MAKES ME LOOKED LIKE I AM TWICE AS BIG!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH THAT FAIRUZ ...... ONE OF MY FREN FROM WORK TOO... HE'S COOL WITH MY SEXUALITY AND ALL THATS WHY I LUVVVVVVVV HIM.....HAHAHAHA

There three other staff that I did not insert their picture in.... Kak Kamita, Haidil and Salim....

My God its seems like only yesterday that I started work as a Fashion Costume Designer at No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd. It's almost 6 mths now.......whew how time flew.... I love My job and so despite any setbacks or unhappiness that I had encountered, I still think that I have got my dream job...though the pay could be better though...hint hint....... Imagine to be in a job where your boss allows you to create beautiful intricate costumes that you design personally for clients and with few objections... giving me free hand to do what I want ...to expand my creativity and experiences. I know that I am still new at this but as I had told my Boss, as long as I am still with this company, I will try my best to make this company the best costume house in SINGAPORE and hopefully known in ASIA.

I told my Boss that I will redesign all the costume in the company...... giving my best to show the world what I can do ........ Recently I heard some bad comments abt the Star Wars Collection in our company from a forum(Previous collection not made or designed by me).....So I told myself that By HALLOWEEN this year, I will revamp the Star Wars collection in No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd and to state a record of having the biggest and most intricate Star Wars Costume in Singapore. No other costume house will rival my collection. I will create all the various JEdi Costume and of course the various Character costumes such as the Royal Wardrobe, Jedis, Sith, Senate,bounty hunters......etc. I will show them that I had the design capabilities to make them too just as the Costume Designer of The Star Wars series.... And I will create some more costumes for characters from the Star wars novels.

Oh course unfortunately I would not be able to show the exquisite costumes that I had created in my Blog as there are others out there that is trying to rival us and I do not want my creations especially the orignal designs I made myself to be replicated by them. I know it sounds selfish and that copying is a form of flatery but no way hozay..... If you want to see what I had done so far...please feel free to drop by No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd....

No 32 Aliwal ST......oppposite Concourse building.............. : -)

In my futher blogs , I will tell you more on my experiences as a costume designer.........
Love you all.......

NO1. COSTUME COSTUME PTE LTD

MARIA, FRANCIS AND SUBKI ( MY FREN AND SISTERS FROM WORKPLACE)
THEY JUST LOVED THE ASTRONAUT SUIT I DESIGNED FOR THE COMPANY....HEHEHE
ME AND YAZID......HE'S NEW BUT A NICE PERSON ALL IN ALL BUT VERY CUTE , DUN KNOW WHY HE HAS TAT WEIRD LOOK ON HIS FACE THOUGH....HAHAHAoHOH MY GOSH THAT PICTURE MAKES ME LOOKED LIKE I AM TWICE AS BIG!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH THAT FAIRUZ ...... ONE OF MY FREN FROM WORK TOO... HE'S COOL WITH MY SEXUALITY AND ALL THATS WHY I LUVVVVVVVV HIM.....HAHAHAHA

There three other staff that I did not insert their picture in.... Kak Kamita, Haidil and Salim....

My God its seems like only yesterday that I started work as a Fashion Costume Designer at No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd. It's almost 6 mths now.......whew how time flew.... I love My job and so despite any setbacks or unhappiness that I had encountered, I still think that I have got my dream job...though the pay could be better though...hint hint....... Imagine to be in a job where your boss allows you to create beautiful intricate costumes that you design personally for clients and with few objections... giving me free hand to do what I want ...to expand my creativity and experiences. I know that I am still new at this but as I had told my Boss, as long as I am still with this company, I will try my best to make this company the best costume house in SINGAPORE and hopefully known in ASIA.

I told my Boss that I will redesign all the costume in the company...... giving my best to show the world what I can do ........ Recently I heard some bad comments abt the Star Wars Collection in our company from a forum(Previous collection not made or designed by me).....So I told myself that By HALLOWEEN this year, I will revamp the Star Wars collection in No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd and to state a record of having the biggest and most intricate Star Wars Costume in Singapore. No other costume house will rival my collection. I will create all the various JEdi Costume and of course the various Character costumes such as the Royal Wardrobe, Jedis, Sith, Senate,bounty hunters......etc. I will show them that I had the design capabilities to make them too just as the Costume Designer of The Star Wars series.... And I will create some more costumes for characters from the Star wars novels.

Oh course unfortunately I would not be able to show the exquisite costumes that I had created in my Blog as there are others out there that is trying to rival us and I do not want my creations especially the orignal designs I made myself to be replicated by them. I know it sounds selfish and that copying is a form of flatery but no way hozay..... If you want to see what I had done so far...please feel free to drop by No1. Costume Costume Pte Ltd....

No 32 Aliwal ST......oppposite Concourse building.............. : -)

In my futher blogs , I will tell you more on my experiences as a costume designer.........
Love you all.......